The Signal

"Are you not ashamed of yourself?" I enquired, devoid of realising that I am standing in the middle of the road and questioning.

"Ashamed? Of what?" He responded.

"Ashamed of what you are?" I said in almost repulsion.

While the conversation was going on, the signal got green and I left that place trying to look into the mirror at him.
He was a transgender. I was spotting him at the signal almost every day.
Wearing a saree and begging for money!
Trying to pester the male travellers.
Nevertheless, I had noted that he and most of the transgender never bothered the female travellers.
I always wondered what could be the reason!
May be because most of the females express a feeling of disgust towards them.
Nonetheless, I thought even that was also justified, as most of them were so over dressed with extra make-up every time, in order to get easily noticed.
But why should anybody notice their existence?
Why can't they be just as normal as the other two genders in this social system?
These queries used to bug me whenever I thought of them or saw them!
But today, even before I could realise I had interrogated him. The question, had at once prompted me!

Next day again, at the signal, I saw him, but I didn't get the red signal for more events.
After a couple of days, I got a red signal and as soon as I stopped. I was looking for him!
"Madam!” Commencing from behind, came his speech, “Yes, I am ashamed of what I am!"
"But why?" I interviewed.
"Because people in this civilization have no respect for us!" he answered serenely.
"I understand! The structure of our society is so substantial that you have to earn your respect and if you don't earn it! There’s a possibility you would not get it!" I tried to advise him.
"And to earn it is what is difficult for people like us." He said with the same tranquil.
"You mean a transgender?" I questioned again.
"Off course! Who else?" he reacted.
"Being a woman I understand how you would be feeling, because at some or the other point of time in our life, even we women’s have struggled for getting respect in this male dominating structure". I said influentially.
"Yes. that is the reason we are trained to try and influence the males!” I got the answer to my question as well. He further inquired, “And how did you deal with those situations where you felt that there is no respect for you".
"I don’t care who is respecting me. I did that myself. I respect myself.” I made a statement questioning him, “Do you respect yourself?"

The signal got green and I left. But I saw him crossing the road with a thoughtful expression!

May be I spoke too much.
I noticed other people standing at the signal were staring at us. Some were surprised. Some were in disgust. Some were neutral. But none failed to grasp that I was conversing with a transgender for a complete minute. Women are not seen doing that!

Nevertheless, my curiosity about their (transgender) feelings forced me to enter into the conversation!

We are always taught about equality. But that equality was always about male female equality; it was never about the three gender equality.
Why are we not taught “Equality” in its pure form?
Other things aside why are we not taught to respect other living beings. Is that so difficult?

That day I decided, I would at least smile at the transgender showing my respect to them or at least expecting them to feel that.

I was never at the signal for the next few days.

One day while waiting for the green signal, I saw him coming!
I smiled at him. He smiled back.
I could sense he was pleased.

"Yes you are right! I have no respect for myself. Since the last weeks I have realised that very few of us would be having respect for what we do!" He confessed.

"Yes! I can understand. That is a product of our social system!" I agreed with him.

"But I want to respect myself!" he urged, as if asking for a solution.

"Then stop begging for it!" I answered instantly.

I left with the green signal.
It was too crowded and I could not see him from the mirror.

Later for couple of weeks, I didn’t see him at the signal. I thought of enquiring, but could not! I felt awkward!

I got busy with my priorities and his thought went to the back of my mind.
After few days I saw him at the signal.
His appearance was different.
He was not in a saree. But was wearing a pant and a kurta.
He was happy to see me. And was not begging for money!

"Can we talk?" he questioned
"Yes. Sure.!" I answered.

"After the signal gets green can you stop to the side of the road?" I didn’t guess that question. I was reluctant to say yes!
I had never thought of stopping out of my way to have a chat with a transgender.
"I am not overdone today! Nobody would realise that you are chatting with a transgender!" I was shocked, he had actually read my thoughts. I felt embarrassed!

"No! I was just thinking about the office time but okay will wait!" I tried to cover it up.

While he was crossing the signal I realised he was not doing the weird cat walk he typically did. He was walking as normal as others.

I too crossed the signal and went where he was waiting!
"Thank you!" He said with a cheerful smile.
I just smiled.

"Somebody like you sparing time for a person like me is itself overwhelming! And you have been so nice to me". Humbly he complemented.

"But I didn't give you anything!" I said.

"May be you gave me something I needed!
Respect! And taught me to respect myself!
I must mention that there are things and persons who force us (transgender) to do the things, I did.  But I have quitted all that. I have decided to struggle with them. All my friends have started respecting me. And I am respecting them as well. I had realised that the thing we were waiting from outside to come was so within us. Thank you for helping towards that realisation!"
I smiled but I couldn't say anything. I was amazed and listening.

"Can I give you something?" very politely he asked.
That was a surprise request.

"Sure" even before I could realise, I had answered.
He was holding something in his hand. He opened his hand.
It was a friendship band!

I lifted my hand! He kept the band in my hand, without tying it.

“I won't tie it.” Said he.

“But still this would always be with me. Thank you that you thought me as your friend!" finally I found some words.

"Because you thought me so!" He said with great respect. "And don't worry I won't be putting you in any awkward situation in future as well. I don't even want your contact.” He clarified urgently and continued “I just wanted you to know that I respect you."

I had never ever felt so appreciated.
I too thought of giving him something.
I took the keys of my bike, removed the key chain and handed over it to him.

"Thank you! This means a lot" I said to him pointing towards the band.
With a wide smile he accepted the souvenir.

"I got a house keeping job in a company, far away from here. Won't be seeing you again. Hence asked you to wait today."

Wow! he is having a job!
All the curiosity about his past, his childhood, his education ran towards me!
But considering his future was on the way I ignored my curiosity.

"Congratulations! And all the best!" I said happily.

"Thank you! Hopefully we would see each other some time again!" He responded.

"Yes! Sure" I did hope for that.

He said good Bye and left!
I kept the band in my valet.
As I started to leave all of a sudden I realised, I had never asked him his name! That unnamed fellow certainly had changed something within me.
I understood the importance of respecting anybody and everybody. I understood the importance of respecting self.
That day, I didn't receive a friendship band but I received a responsibility.
I may have affected his life a bit! But myself got a lesson.
A “by the way” conversation resulting into an “all the way” lesson for life!